A Treatise on Progressive Slots

Sometimes, when I don’t feel like thinking too much about my game, I play slots. You have to understand, I like to consider my options most of the time, but slots is just pure relaxation for me. Not only do I like slots, but I have a rule; I’ll only play progressive slots. Not only that, but I like progressive slot jackpots of over a million dollars. I pretty much don’t want to play anything lower than that.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, if it’s we’re talking about progressive slot jackpots of over 800K or so, you can count me in, but I’m not going to play for just 100K. I always aim high.

So you’re probably wondering what draws me to slots. Basically, I’ll just turn on the cds, get a nice bottle of wine, and just zone out. I admit it, I’m like, kinda strange. While I’m looking for the ultimate in progressive slot jackpots, I’m listening to Barry Manilow and savoring a 5-year-old cabernet sauvignon. I figure I must make a really strange sight, humming “Oh Mandy” while sipping at the red stuff until my lips go puffy, and clicking the slot machine.

But I tell you, it’s a great way to calm down after a hard day. I just completely zone out, the wine does its magic, the computer clicks away, hopefully making me richer by the click, and the music soothes me.

I just wait for the day when I hit one of those elusive progressive slot jackpots and then the local newspapers carry a photo of me in my bathrobe and my fuzzy lamb slippers that I got two years ago for Christmas as one of those “secret Santa” gifts, holding a glass of wine. I hope they won’t take video. I don’t think I could take it if my friends caught a video of me belting out “Could it be Magic?” But you know, if I actually hit that jackpot, it would be magic.

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